Lemons lol

25 Sitting on 25 Bills

Remember, like, a month ago when I said I’d be blogging here more often? Yeah, me neither.

I realized that I’m the most inspired to write when I’m upset. My best posts are borne out of sadness or frustration or anger. And I haven’t truly felt those emotions in a long time (despite what you might think from my frequent hate-tweets).

The last time I wrote a really great collection of stories two years ago, I was very close to depressed, I felt stuck in a bad situation, and I felt like every terrible thing that could happen to me, did. Now in LA, my life is nowhere near put together, but this time I don’t feel hopeless.

I think my recent contentment with the trials of everyday life comes from my recent growth in maturity. At the ripe old age of 25, I’ve come to terms with the fact that I probably will not star in my own reality TV show. Instead of blacking out from alcohol every night and being proud of it, I now black out from alcohol every other night—and I’m ashamed of it. And every day I’m more and more attracted to the lifestyle of a suburban mom than of a bottle serviced party girl.

Three years ago, when I was fresh out of college, I wanted to be successful, but I didn’t know how I was going to get there. I looked to other successful people for clues and took notes from rap songs about how to work hard and hustle all the time. Now that I’m 25 years old, I’m somehow surprised that I’m not sitting on $25 mil like Drake was at my age, until I realize that I overlooked the decade of work he’d put in before he got there. And then I realize that there’s no reason why I can’t figure out how to make $25 mil in a decade, too.

With each year, we all develop further personally, and 2015 for me yielded a lot of professional milestones. I worked with companies and artists who seemed untouchable just a year ago. I traveled to a handful of cities I had never seen before. People started recognizing me at parties. I now have more resources and a large support system (s/o Nap Girls) if I ever need help with work or if I’m feeling down.

I’m experiencing a paradoxical feeling of being perpetually happy with my life and my accomplishments, while also feeling frustrated that I have nothing to write about. So here’s my latest post on how I’ve sort of found my bliss in understanding that life is what you make of it. And if life decides to hand me more lemons one of these days, I’ll either have something to write about or I’ll figure out how to sell them for 25 million dollars.

city lights

OMG it’s Me

Once upon a time, I was a blogger. If you’re reading this, you’re probably a super supportive friend of mine who clicked on the link from Facebook or Twitter. I doubt I have a following outside of those social outlets anymore, since my personal blog slowly lost momentum due to my neglectful posting habits and then basically blacked out completely around a year ago. But at one time, ohmygoditskat.com was poppin’.

I first started blogging in early 2013 out of boredom and frustration. I had just lost my first “real” job in Las Vegas when the nightclub I worked for shut down after a dismal few weeks in operation. I remember being caught off-guard, although I shouldn’t have been. The enterprise was underfunded and the resources at hand were clearly not going to work in the Vegas nightlife market. Still, I had my first important-feeling job title and my first set of business cards and I wanted that to last.

My original blog posts are no longer public online (because, embarrassing, just like your Facebook albums from 2007 that you need to set to private immediately) but I still have everything I wrote on hand if I ever want to reminisce. The first paragraph of my first blog post from February 25, 2013 reads as follows:

I lost my job, lost my mind, and took off to California.  I am currently sitting at a Starbucks in West Hollywood, using the free wifi without having bought anything like a true bum.  I left Vegas just last night.  After picking up my last check from SHe nightclub (the newest club to open and the most recent club to close on the Las Vegas strip) I strapped my teddy bear Cory into the passenger seat of my beat-up 2001 Civic and peaced the fuck out.

I’m scared that I’ll never write anything as funny and carefree as those old entries were ever again.

A lot of aspects of my life have changed since that first blog post. I’ve since moved to Los Angeles and I now live within walking distance of that Starbucks where I wrote my first public, long-form declaration of my insecurities; a running manifesto that soon pushed open the doors for me to write for established publications (as a job! For money!). Now, I write for two Vegas-based print publications, Vegas Seven and Vegas Rated, as well as MTV News online. I like to tout these facts at parties because people seem to be impressed when I name-drop MTV–and rightfully so–but I feel like there’s something missing from my public collections of writing. None of my employers want me to talk about myself in my articles. And honestly, I’m needy. I want to talk about me.

So I’m going to start updating ohmygoditskat.com like I used to. I have a lot of feelings to share and funny stories to tell and, most importantly, I really like talking about ohmygoditsME.